


Love Whispered Between Us

by Bel_vio



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Drabble, Established Relationship, M/M, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 02:09:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10957470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bel_vio/pseuds/Bel_vio
Summary: As they both lied in bed, Bucky heard Steve whisper "I'm sorry," to the air between them. And if it weren't for his enhanced hearing he wouldn't have heard it.or: Steve spent years blaming himself for Bucky's death. They finally talk about it.





	Love Whispered Between Us

**Author's Note:**

> ETA: The amazing [ASonicW](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASonicW/pseuds/ASonicW) translated this fic to Chinese (thank you so much, sweetheart); here's the [link](http://amsro.lofter.com/post/1e1facae_1280d05f)!

Steve had been acting strange for days. Bucky couldn't tell what was wrong with him—hell, most days he couldn't tell what was wrong with himself—but something was definitely bothering Steve and Bucky didn't know how to react. He could feel Steve's eyes on him wherever he went; could hear his little sighs just before they fell asleep, lying in bed next to each other.

It went on for weeks, Bucky wasn't sure if he should address it or not, he didn't remember much from _Before_ but he did know how stubborn Steve could be and how hard it was to make him open up about something. But as the days went by the stares and sighs and frowns started become unbearable. Steve's apartment was the only place where he truly felt not only safe, but _comfortable_ and the look on his lover's eyes was affecting him more than anything else ever could.

It lasted until one night, as they both lied in bed, facing each other, Bucky suddenly heard Steve whisper "I'm sorry," to the air between them. And if it weren't for his enhanced hearing he wouldn't have heard it.

Bucky opened his eyes slowly, until he could see Steve. It was late (or very early, depending on one’s view); he knew it without even checking the clock on the bedside table. But Bucky knew he hadn't imagined it when Steve's face came into focus and he could see the shining eyes staring at him.

Steve immediately sat up, rubbing his eyes and making to climb out of the bed, but Bucky stopped him before he could, holding the back of the blond's t-shirt in his fist.

"Steve?" He asked, mostly confused, his voice coming out softer than he had intended.

Steve didn't turn to him; instead he just sat on the side of the bed, his elbows on his knees and his hands covering in his face.

"It's all my fault." He said eventually.

Bucky didn't move, staring instead at Steve's back.

"I can't stop thinking about it. Every time I look at you I remember what I read and what I saw them doing to you and I–" Bucky tensed at the mention of _them_ "I'm so scared, Bucky... I'm scared of waking up one day and see the resentment in your eyes. Some days I almost expect it, when I look at you. And God knows I’d deserve it, if you did. For what I did to you.”

Bucky could hear Steve crying now, but his lover's words brought him even more confusion. He had no idea what Steve was talking about.

"Steve–"

Steve sniffled, still not turning around "I made you do it. You were gonna leave; you were going home and I made you stay with me because I was selfish and didn't want to fight alone."

With that Bucky realized what Steve meant. And it made him angry.

"Stop." He told him. This time his voice wasn’t soft; it was hard and stern.

But Steve didn't. "You had done your part and–"

"Stop." Bucky repeated, more firmly this time, as he grabbed Steve's arm and turned him so he was facing him. "Please, just..." Bucky's voice turned soft again, almost defeated. "I did a lot of bad things–"

Steve opened his mouth to protest, his brows already in a frown, but Bucky raised a hand to stop him, "I did. But none of it was my choice." He stopped, wetting his lips with his tongue; an excuse mostly, to give him time to sort out his thoughts "Everything HYDRA made me do," he looked down at his hands like they were equally guilty and Steve covered them with his own. "I didn't choose to do it. But fighting next to you? That was _my_ choice, Steve. _I_ chose to stay. _I_ chose not to go home. So don't you dare, Rogers. Don't you dare take that choice away from me. From everything I did in my life, that's the one thing I'll never regret doing."

He looked up at Steve and saw the newly shed tears running down his face. He was looking at Bucky like he had never even considered that. His eyes were wide and the weak rays of the rising sun shining through the blackout curtains made his blue eyes shine in a stunning way. Steve opened and closed his mouth several times, but Bucky just shook his head and inched closer, leaning his head on Steve's shoulder and breathing in. He felt Steve's lips press a kiss to the side of his head before leaning on Bucky’s shoulder too and his hand slowly coming to rest on Bucky’s back, then, just as slowly, sliding around his middle. The other hand did the same and suddenly Steve—still silently crying—was holding him in his arms. Bucky didn't cry, but let his lover release all of the unnecessary guilt carried through the years as they held each other.

They stayed like that for what seemed like hours, Bucky half sat on Steve's lap, their heads on each other's shoulders and Steve's arms around him. Eventually they both drifted back to sleep, neither of them willing to move to a different position before doing so.

**Author's Note:**

> I had this saved on my drafts for a while and had completely forgotten about it. It's not much but I hope you guys like it!
> 
> Tumblr: [hailbuckystighs](http://hailbuckystighs.tumblr.com)
> 
> Enjoy!


End file.
